So, You Want a Puppy? Think Again (and Again… and Again)

Ah, puppies. Those squishy faces, oversized paws, and endless tail wags. And let’s not forget that irresistible “new puppy” smell—a magical blend of innocence and mischief that makes you want to scoop them up and never let go. It’s easy to fall for their adorable antics and convince yourself that you “need” one to complete your life. But before you dive headfirst into this whirlwind of fluff and chaos, let’s have an honest chat about what bringing a puppy into your home really entails.

Spoiler alert: it’s not all snuggles and Instagram-worthy moments…

The Puppy Reality Check: Time to Burst That Bubble

1. Sleep? You Don’t Know Her.
Remember those blissful weekend mornings where you stayed in bed until noon? Kiss them goodbye. Puppies operate on their own schedule, which usually involves waking you up at the crack of dawn with a desperate need to pee or an urgent desire to chew your nose. Late-night wake-up calls? They’re not just for babies. And don’t forget the 2 a.m. existential crises—where your puppy cries, barks, or just stares at you like you’re the reason for all of their problems.

2. Your Home Will Be a War Zone.
Your pristine carpet? A canvas for potty accidents. Your furniture? A teething toy. Your favourite shoes? An innocent casualty. Puppies don’t discriminate when it comes to what’s chewable. If it’s within reach, it’s fair game. And let’s talk about the “zoomies”—that insane time, typically around 8 p.m. when your puppy turns into a tornado of destruction, racing through your house with the speed of a caffeinated squirrel.

3. Goodbye Social Life.
“Sorry, I can’t come to dinner. The puppy needs me.” You’ll say this a lot. Raising a puppy is like babysitting a toddler with an attention span of about three seconds. You’ll become a homebody, prioritizing training sessions and potty breaks over brunch dates and happy hours. Even when you’re out, you’ll find yourself pulling out your phone to check the puppy cam every 3 minutes. Spoiler: they’re definitely chewing something they shouldn’t.

4. The Financial Drain.
Think puppies are a budget-friendly alternative to children? Think again. There’s the adoption or breeder fee, vaccines, spaying or neutering, crates, beds, toys, food, grooming supplies, training classes, and don’t forget the surprise vet visits because your pup decided to eat something questionable. Cha-ching! Oh, and don’t forget the extra cleaning supplies—you’ll need them after the fifth accident on your new rug.

5. The Land Shark Phase.
Let’s not sugarcoat it: puppies are tiny, adorable… terrifying little monsters. Their needle-sharp teeth will find your ankles, your fingers, and anything else they can latch onto. Training them not to bite too hard? It’s a process—a long one. You’ll quickly discover that “playtime” often feels like a reenactment of Jaws, and your ankles are the main attraction.

6. The Soundtrack of Puppyhood.
Did you know puppies come with their own sound effects? There’s the ear-piercing bark, the whiney “I’m bored” howl, and the heart-wrenching cries when you leave the room for a mere five seconds. And let’s not forget the midnight chorus when they decide it’ll be far more fun to serenade you instead of sleeping.

7. The Houdini Phase.
No matter how puppy-proof you think your house is, they WILL find a way to outsmart you. Trash cans? Opened. Baby gates? Climbed. Forbidden snacks? Consumed. They’re escape artists with an uncanny ability to find trouble wherever it’s hiding.8. Training: Puppies Don’t Come Pre-Installed.
Your puppy wasn’t born understanding your expectations or how to navigate the human world. They don’t come pre-installed with the “human-world expansion pack.” Teaching them takes time, patience, and consistency. Training isn’t a one-and-done deal; it’s a daily commitment for the first 18 months (and often beyond). You’ll need to help them learn where to potty, how to walk on a leash, and the difference between your hand and a chew toy. And just when you think they’ve mastered something, they’ll surprise you by seemingly forgetting it the next day.

So… What’s the Upside?

After all that doom and gloom, you’re probably wondering, Why would anyone ever get a puppy? Well, here’s the truth: if you’re prepared to invest the time, energy, and patience, the rewards are absolutely worth it. A puppy will help to  teach you responsibility, patience, and the true meaning of unconditional love. They’ll bring you endless joy and laughter as you experience the thrill of their first successful potty outside, the pride when they master a new trick, and the heart-melting moment when they curl up beside you, exhausted from a day of chaos. They’ll greet you with excitement every single day, even if you’ve only been gone for five minutes.

If You’re Still Thinking About Getting a Puppy – Here’s the Litmus Test

Are you truly ready for a puppy? Score yourself on this checklist. Give yourself 1 point for every “Yes” and 0 for every “No.”

1. Sleep Sacrifice: Are you prepared to trade your full nights of rest for early mornings and late-night potty breaks for the next few weeks or even months?

2. Home Destruction: Can you handle the thought of chewed furniture, ruined rugs, and a house that’s perpetually sticky and smelly?

3. Social Life Hit: Are you okay prioritizing your puppy over social outings for the foreseeable future?

4. Financial Commitment: Do you have the budget for food, toys, training, vet bills, and any other surprise expenses? (on average over the past 5 years, my dogs’ monthly expenses have been $265CAD – which excludes the expense of training since she has a built-in trainer!)

5. Energy Level: Are you ready for the land shark phase, zoomies, and hours of playtime?

6. Patience for Training: Can you commit to consistent, long-term training to help your puppy learn how to thrive in a human world?

7. Noise Tolerance: Can you handle the barks, whines, and cries that come with a vocal puppy?

8. Adaptability: Are you prepared to puppy-proof your home (and keep re-puppy-proofing as they outsmart you)?

Scoring Guide:

• 8 points: You’re a glutton for chaos— you may proceed with caution!

• 6–7 points: You’re almost ready—do a little bit more research to make sure you’re ready for all the surprises of puppyhood.

• 4–5 points: Maybe a goldfish is more your speed?

• 0–3 points: Step away from the puppy listings immediately!!!

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If you passed with flying colours, congratulations! You might just be ready to embrace the chaos of puppyhood. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you when your new little bundle of joy turns out to be a land shark terrorizing your ankles.

And remember: puppies do grow up. With the right training, love, and effort, that chaotic little fluffball will grow into a loyal, loving companion that will fill your life with more happiness than you could have imagined.

But until then, stock up on coffee, chew toys and lots of coaching with Miss Behaviour.

You’re going to need them.

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